Peace, Please

During my 26 years of existence I have been fortunate enough to have done a little bit of traveling. I’ve seen a lot of cool places and have been a part of many adventures. One of these adventures in life came in the form of living in Texas for 4 years. Some friends and I went to an amusement park called Six Flags. I’m not particularly big on amusement rides but it was one of those, expense paid, team building events so I was joyfully required to attend. The day turned out to be pretty stellar until I looked at the next ride for which we were in line. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy roller coasters, I just don’t enjoy straight drops. I should say, my stomach doesn’t enjoy straight drops, resulting in me not enjoying straight drops. I pleaded and looked for ways to get out of this line but was not allowed to do so due to “team building”(as if team building did anyone any good). Finally, it was our turn to get into this ride from hell and my misery was about to begin.

The ride shot us backwards at 60mph in less time than it took for me to realize I had just wet myself. That wasn’t the worst part, that part was actually enjoyable. The worst part came when this ride took us up backward to a point where I was facing the ground 200 hundred feet up and stopped. As I was facing death, I wish I could say that I had the time to think about some manly way of handling this experience but before I knew it we were headed back down and out of no where I heard this blood curdling scream that sounded like a junior high girl when she got her first zit. The worst part is when I realized that noise had come from my mouth. Not in all my years of puberty had I hit such a high note. 

We got to the end of the ride and I was amazed at peoples’ comments. They all told me how much fun I had because I had screamed for joy. They were convinced that I had the time of my life. That is when I realized I had the façade of a god. And I’m not talking about my bulging biceps, chiseled abs and tree trunk legs. I don’t know how, but I managed to trick them all into thinking I had the time of my life. They didn’t know what was really going on and I was not going to tell them. This may be a silly story, but I don’t think I’m the only one with a solid façade. I think we all can put on a pretty face and happy smile, when in reality, hell is breaking loose in our lives.

It seems like when one thing goes wrong--everything goes wrong. Piece by piece if feels like our lives are falling apart. Something goes wrong at our job and if that’s not bad enough we start having problems at home in our personal relationships, the car breaks down and the list continues to go on and on. I began to go through one of these seasons in life and began to pray and just wonder why. I noticed as I prayed and continue to spend time in God’s word my problems did not go away. WHAT! I know, right! Once you’re a Christian, God is suppose to take care of everything and it’s suppose to be smooth sailing. The waves aren’t supposed to rock my ship. My problems did not go away in the blink of an eye like I had hoped, but I did notice a change in me.

As I sat and prayed and pleaded with God to the point of tears--something happened. My soul began to be at ease. The problems were still there and I still had to deal with them and am still dealing with them, but I had peace. The innermost part of me had been settled and an unexplainable peace came over me and rested my worrisome soul.

My outside circumstances didn't change right away, but the inner part of me did. Life still wasn’t going the way I wanted it to, but I knew it was going to be okay. It might not be looking good and it might not get better for some time, but it will be okay. I know, because I’ve been there when all you can bring yourself to do is get on your knees and somehow muster the words--Peace, Please.

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” –Isaiah 26:3

It's A Matter Of The Heart

Have you ever had a dream? A burning desire to do something or become something. Dreams can come in many different shapes and sizes. From the sixteen year old girl who dreams of the day she walks down the aisle to marry the man of her dreams. The young entrepreneur who dreams of starting a business that would one day grow into a Fortune 500 company. The grandmother who prays continually for the well being of her children and grandchildren. A little boy who sees the braveness of his firefighter daddy and dreams of the day he can follow in his footsteps. To the marginalized child who has the seemingly impossible dream of being a television talk show host.

We all have dreams of some kind and they are exciting to us. Some of us are so excited about our new ideas that we have the desire to tell everyone about them. In doing so, we come to realize that other people aren't as excited about our dream as we are. Over the course of telling people of our new found dream, their lack of excitement weighs on our excitement. After a while the dream we were once so ecstatic and thrilled about has become of source of disappointment, a goal that we could never achieve. This reminds me of the story of Ezekiel.

Dreams can form in a variety of ways: an idea, a desire for something to change, and/or simply a desire to be something. Ezekiels' dream came directly from a vision from God (Ezekiel 1-3). Historically, the people of Israel were the people of God. They are the people that were given the Ten Commandments. They were religious people who knew God and knew of the right ways to live. But they had become rebellious (disobedient) to God and His commandments. Ezekiel had a desire to tell these people to turn back to God. Before Ezekiel did this God spoke to him and told him this, "Son of man, let all my words sink deep into your own heart first. Listen to them carefully for yourself. Then go to your people in exile and say to them, 'This is what the Sovereign Lord says!' Do this whether they listen to you or not." (Ezekiel 3:10,11) It was as if God knew something that Ezekiel didn't. God knew how disheartening men can be and how fickle we can be. He knew Ezekiel first had to own and believe his own dream before he could live it. Ezekiel had to get it deep in his heart.

I've had a lot of things I have wanted to do throughout my 25 years of life. One personal goal of mine has always been to bulk up. I have worked out and made plans to work out but I have never stuck to this goal. There are many reasons as to why I never reached this goal. The lighthearted joking of friends that I was suppose to just brush off, the lies that told me I would never see my progress, and all the lies I tell myself have played a role. But the bottom-line is, I am in charge of my dreams and my goals. If I let them die, it's on me. I recently reignited this desire in myself and this time I am going to achieve it. Now I am not doing it for other people, but I'm doing it for me and my personal health. It's no longer a goal for other people to see me as strong and have a rocking body (I mean, who doesn't want that). I'm doing this for me. And I've let this goal grow deep enough within me that I don't care what anyone else has to say.

I want to end this blog with one last story. There was a six grade teacher who had a class full of elementary boys and girls. The teacher had the students write on a piece of paper what they wanted to be. She called up the students one by one and they read aloud to the class what they wanted to be. A little black boy came up to the front of the class and said, "I want to be on TV." The teacher looked at the boy and said, "Why did you write that on your paper?" The little boy replied, "Because that was the assignment and I want to be on TV." The teacher began to ask him if he knew anyone on TV, if anyone in this school had been on TV, or if anyone in his family was on TV. To which he replied, "No, ma'am." She told him to go write something that was reasonable like a police officer or fireman. The teacher told his parents he was being a smart alloc. His parents confronted their son about his behavior. The boys father, who only had a 3rd grade education, said, "How does she know whats reasonable?" He told his son to take what he wrote on the paper and read it when he got up in the morning and before he went to bed at night. That little boy became what he wrote on that piece of paper. The little boys name is Steve Harvey. Don't let anyone or anything stop you from what you want to do. Let your dreams sink deep into your hearts.